Chapter one
The smell of coffee and a freshly lit cigarette is enough to wake up anyone in the morning. My olfactory sense is more sensitive than others so perhaps that is not fare for me to say. These are two of my favorite smells, it reminds me of simpler times in a simpler place, when there was no email to check and I had many phone numbers in my head because there was no such thing as speed dial. Perhaps there was speed dial but I didn't have it at home or at work.
Before I opened my eyes those two aromas roused me from slummer bringing me out of a wonderful dream and back to reality. Another day in the cold on the beach, at least the forecast calls for clear blue skies and a soft breeze. If I am lucky my eyes will be green as the sea. If I get out of bed now I'll be able to catch the sunrise, the red orange glow no matter how many times I see it, when the new day dawns never ceases to take my breath away. The combination of light and color, never seem to look the same way twice, it is the start of a brand new day.
Half opening my eyes, I make my way to the bathroom, the tiles beneath my feet remind me that it is indeed winter and that I probably want 2 layers on today from top to bottom. Squeezing the tooth paste onto my toothbrush, I drop both into the sink, my eyes now open wide open with unbelief. Gray, my fluorescent green toothbrush is shades of gray and my orange and white toothpaste, gray and white, I look in the mirror, my hair is black, my skin a lighter hue of gray and well, my eyes are gray...at least that is true some of the time. The vanity is black revealing its true color but everything my red and black pajamas, the green tiles, the ROYGBIF shower curtain, every ounce of color has been drained from me and the bathroom.
I go out into the hall and look out the window. Is it my eyes? Is it the lack of natural light? It is after all darkest before the dawn. Do I finish getting ready and make it to the beach on time or do I sit down at the computer? Whether it is my eyes or the world that has lost its color, I am quite certain that I do not want to see the sun rise as a charcoal ball.
Flipping open the laptop on my desk, Google Chrome is still up from the night before, I click on News. Nothing. Staring at the gray screen, I type in "colorless morning" it brings me to a music video. Squeezing my eyes hard, hoping against hope this can not be true. It must be my eyes, even though I have never heard of any one's eyesight being fine and the ability to see color being lost. Perhaps I am just having a bad dream. A really bad dream. I will wake up soon and the nightmare will be over. I will catch the sunrise and all will be well. Or will it?
The coffee is calling my name. I head downstairs and whoever made the coffee must have already left for the day. Umm. Usually, I am the first one up and out. I make the coffee and have the one cigarette that I allow myself to have. At the bottom of the stairs, I change my mind and decide to go back to bed. Lying in bed, my head began to race, I don't think I can live without color, it would be like all foods loosing their flavor. The strong aroma of freshly brewed coffee just for starters. And the thought of coffee reminds me that this indeed is not a dream. The light streams in through my window. The sun has risen and so must I.
Perhaps, I am dead and hell is nothing like what I thought it would be.
Warmed after dressing, I make my way to the coast hoping to cleanse my soul. The salt air keeps my spirits up, I guess I better start living by faith and not by sight. Easier said then done. Its gonna be like dancing to the music in my head because all the music in the world has been removed.
I sight Joe in the distance. Time to just act as if nothing has happened.
“Hey Aisli, I was hoping to catch you here at sunrise.”
“Yeah, sorry I missed it.” I lie through my teeth.
“It was breath taking.” Joe says closing his eyes as if to imagine the moment again in his mind.
Doing my best not to react, I bend over and retie my boots. What am I to do? Maybe I am dreaming after all. Joe never talks to me. It amazes me that he even knows I’m alive. My preference is to catch the sunrise alone but I could picture myself in his arms as night turned into day. This gray day just got a splash of color.
Gathering all my courage, I say, “Joe, you were looking for me?”
“Yes. I’ve had my eye on you for so long and I have been careful that you would not even notice. It is hard for me. It has taken a long time for my heart to heal. Just being in your presence has helped the healing process. Last night I had a dream and you were with me in it every step of the way. I woke up before dawn and knew that I had to come looking for you.”
“I am sorry that I disappointed you.”
“You didn’t. You are hear now and we are finally having a real conversation.”
